I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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