If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
