Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
