This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
