whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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