Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
