there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
