Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
