His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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