Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
