Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
