i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
