when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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