Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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