stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
