Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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