I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
