I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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