I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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