Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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