okay pat passed out under dana's car
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize