I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
