Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
