the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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