dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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