i permit you to call me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
