It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
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He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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