i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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