remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I party with great urgency now.
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