I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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