I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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