my sisters under your porch take her home
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
