No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
