none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
