So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
