Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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