Jerry, you need to find god
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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