So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
