the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
