Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
