Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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