Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
