i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
