Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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