ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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