hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
