my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
