The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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