I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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