sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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