I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
