He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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