i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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